… I hate hiding like this. The one time I finally admit to liking something close to me and I just turn around and flee. I find myself unable help it though. I always remind myself not to think or care about what other people may say about me and love what you love, but I’m so afraid of being judged - especially by everyone around here. I don’t want that one part about me to taint my relationship with anyone or their views on me, either. That scares the hell out of me. But I want to be able to openly express my love for this and have fun with it like everyone else can. And then on top of that… Augh. Why am I always so selfish and picky? Not to mention everyone self centered. Everyone else is dealing with their own problems yet I can barely work up the guts to try and comfort them half the time these days. I feel like I’m shutting down.

And now of course I’m taking it out on myself, and I can’t hide that like I can this. I keep destroying myself.

fuck.